Tips for Keeping Your Cool When Divorcing a Difficult or Uncooperative Spouse

st. charles divorce lawyers Divorce is never easy, but some spouses are intent on making the divorce process as difficult and miserable as possible. A spouse may avoid signing paperwork, fail to show up at court hearings or mediation appointments, spread rumors about the other spouse, or simply refuse to cooperate. Some spouses even resort to childish games and mind tricks during a divorce. If your spouse is making your life miserable during your divorce, know that you are not alone. This is an issue that many people deal with. There are litigation tools to help prevent your spouse from acting this way, which may be enable you to mitigate the effects of his or her actions.  

Work With an Attorney Who Understands What You Are Going Through

When choosing a divorce lawyer, make sure you find an attorney who is experienced in contentious divorce cases. Each lawyer has their own unique skill set and experience. You need someone who will not fall for your spouse’s tactics and will strongly advocate on your behalf during the case. If needed, your lawyer can handle communications with your spouse and his or her attorney for you. Your lawyer can also handle settlement negotiations, filing of court documents, and other aspects of the divorce case.

Stay Off of Social Media

Divorcing spouses sometimes do anything they can think of to get a rise out of the other spouse. Social media like Facebook and Instagram is a popular vehicle for pot-stirring during a divorce. Your spouse may say unflattering things about you, share personal information, or spread lies about you through social media. Though it is tempting, do not resort to retaliatory actions online or in person. Doing so only encourages their immature behavior. It may be best to simply block your spouse on social media and avoid logging into the sites until after the divorce is finalized.

Utilize the “Gray Rock” Method

One strategy used by people divorcing a narcissist or an unreasonable spouse is the “gray rock” method. Mental health experts suggest this method for anyone who wants to avoid further escalation of a tense situation with a manipulative or cruel person. Essentially, the gray rock method involves underreacting to the person’s behavior and making yourself as uninteresting as possible – like a gray rock. Toxic people thrive on drama. Refusing to react to their attempts to rouse you up may prevent some of this drama from occurring.

Contact a Kane County Divorce Lawyer  

If you are divorcing someone who refuses to cooperate or intentionally makes the divorce process more difficult than it needs to be, contact MKFM Law. Our St. Charles divorce attorneys understand what you are going through and are ready to help. Call 630-665-7300 for a confidential consultation. 




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In honor of the passing of our founder, Joseph F. Mirabella, Jr., our offices are closed Friday, January 31, 2020.I Agree