It is no secret that ending a marriage can be messy. In many cases, it can be downright nasty, with acrimony and contentiousness that can linger for many years after the divorce is finalized. Of course, there is no requirement that your divorce must follow such a path. The law in Illinois, in fact, explicitly encourages just the opposite. A cooperative, negotiated divorce is almost always preferable to fiercely litigated dissolution, and can help pave the way for a more civil post-divorce relationship between you and your ex-spouse.
Cooperation Encourages Compliance
If you were to step back and objectively assess yourself, are you likely to do something just because you were told to do it? While you may be able to follow orders, you are probably much more willing to do so if you had a role in creating them. An amicable divorce offers the opportunity for you and your spouse to do just that. Together, you can create a workable agreement that addresses whatever concerns each of you may have. Long-term compliance may be significantly improved if you both feel that you were an important part of the settlement.
Setting a Good Example
As challenging as it may be to work in close collaboration with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, consider how your children may be affected by the divorce process. Of course, you and your spouse will have difficult personal issues to work through, but your children can learn a great deal about resolving differences in a cooperative and civil manner. It is important for your children to know that disagreement is possible in a manner that still maintains civility and respect for the other party. Your commitment to cooperation can also lead to your children being more willing to adapt to the upcoming changes, as they start to share your positive outlook....