While every divorcee’s journey is unique, most find themselves operating in crisis mode. This is generally because divorce does more than just end a marriage. It also changes friendships, can damage relationships with an extended family that they have grown to love, and requires them to even divide time with any children they may share. In short, divorce impacts almost every aspect of a person’s life, so to find yourself in emotional turmoil is normal. It does not have to last forever, though. In fact, you can do more than just survive divorce—you can thrive and find the best version of yourself.

Let the People You Love Support You

Ultimately, some of your friendships and relationships may end along with your marriage. Yet, there will likely be others that flourish. Friends that you might not have been quite as close to before may prove to be sound allies because they know what it is like to be in your shoes. Your own family may offer to pick up the kids from school or take them to the doctors because they love you and want to help. Let them in and give them permission to support you. More importantly, give yourself permission to be vulnerable with those that care about you the most. This might prove to be difficult at first, especially if you feel you have failed and that others might judge you for it, but it does get easier the more you do it.

Social media presents a unique danger when you are in the midst of a divorce or proceedings related to the allocation of parental responsibilities (child custody). In personal injury or criminal cases, clients may be encouraged to set their profiles to private so that the profiles cannot be seen by insurance companies or investigators.

When you are involved in a divorce or child-related action, however, making your social media private may not be enough of a protective measure because you likely are “friends” or connected with people who have an interest in your case—namely your family members and real-world friends. With this in mind, you should consider limiting your posting to social media, in addition to making your profiles private.

Social Medial Posts as Evidence

Virtually any social medial post could be potentially used as evidence by the other party during your family law proceedings. Some of the most dangerous include:

Some groups in the United States have experienced a drop in divorce rates. However, that is not true for older Americans. According to the National Center for Health Statistics and the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of people divorcing after the age of 50—commonly known as gray divorce—has just about doubled since 1990. Gray divorce has become increasingly more common for a few different reasons. For example, divorce has lost much of the stigma it carried years ago, and people are living longer and are not willing to stay in unfulfilling marriages.

Gray divorces often include a variety of unique financial considerations and legal issues that may not have the same importance for younger divorcing couples. Some people may worry that they will not have enough money to retire when they originally planned to. Other people may be concerned with what happens to the assets that they have accumulated throughout their years of marriage. Understanding these issues and how to deal with them is the key to a successful gray divorce.

Spousal Maintenance

In Illinois, spousal maintenance is never guaranteed in any divorce. The purpose of spousal maintenance is to ensure that both spouses are able to provide for themselves and enjoy the same or similar lifestyle that they enjoyed during the marriage. For long-term marriages, it is likely that the judge will award spousal maintenance, especially if one of the spouses sacrificed their education or career to devote time to domestic duties. For a marriage lasting 20 or more years, the length of time spousal maintenance will be paid can be equal to the length of the marriage or for an indefinite term.

One of the least discussed topics before couples marry is usually finances. One of the most discussed topics when a couple decides to end their marriage, however, is usually finances. It is critical to discuss finances before marriage, and a prenuptial agreement opens the door for this very important discussion.

What Is a Prenuptial Agreement?

A prenuptial agreement is a legal document that serves as private agreement between two people who intend to marry. In a prenuptial agreement, the parties define how the couple’s assets and property will be divided in the event of divorce or death. A prenuptial agreement may be narrow or broad in its scope, depending on the individual needs of the couple. The issue of spousal support may be included in the agreement, but there are no specific requirements. Without a prenuptial agreement, the couple will be required to reach an agreement later on, or their assets will be divided by the Illinois state laws governing divorce if the couple elects to terminate their marriage.

Understanding Emotions Around Prenuptial Agreements

In popular culture, prenuptial agreements are often seen in a negative light. They are generally viewed as an uncomfortable topic of conversation that indicates one person is either planning for the marriage to fail or trying to gain an advantage over their partner. Unfortunately, these common misconceptions can lead couples down a stressful and detrimental path if they elect to marry without a prenuptial financial plan. 

People often use the term “separated” to refer to married couples who have decided to end their marriage but are not yet divorced. Many people also use the term synonymously with living separately. However, there is a major difference between living separately and being legally separated. An Illinois legal separation involves a court order that binds spouses to certain terms involving property, financial support, and parental responsibility. Couples that are legally separated are still technically married and may not remarry until they get divorced.

Being Legally Separated Involves Much More Than Living Separately

There are a few reasons why a married couple may wish to be legally separated instead of divorced. Some couples simply want to avoid the finality of divorce. They may have serious marital issues to resolve but are hoping that they will be able to eventually reconcile. Other people choose to avoid divorce for religious or cultural reasons. There may also be certain financial and tax-related benefits associated with staying married. For example, an individual may wish to remain married so that he or she can continue to have access to his or her spouse’s health insurance plan or retirement benefits.