Sharing parental responsibilities can be quite complicated for divorced, separated, or unmarried parents. Each parent may have an idea of how he or she thinks the child should be raised, and such ideas often differ—even between reasonable, well-meaning parents. Conflicting ideas about parenting can create confusion for the child, which is why it is so important for parents to work together to develop a parenting plan that clearly determines what role each parent will play in making significant decisions about the child’s life. 

What Are Significant Decisions?

The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act defines “significant decision-making” as “deciding issues of long-term importance in the life of a child.” The law also provides several considerations that are always considered significant decisions, such as:

An estimated 676,000 American children were victims of abuse and neglect in 2015. Every year, thousands of children suffer emotional, physical, and sexual abuse at the hands of loved ones. Even more astounding, roughly 3.4 million families were investigated by child protective services agencies in 2016. While many of the reports made to child protective services end up being legitimate instances of abuse or neglect, many are not. If you are getting divorced, there are many ways that allegations of child abuse can affect your case.

If You Have Been Accused of Child Abuse

If your soon-to-be-ex-spouse has accused you of abusing a child, there are many ways this can affect the outcome of your divorce. When courts make decisions about the allocation of parental responsibilities and parenting time, (formerly child custody and visitation, respectively) they always put the best interest of the child first and foremost. Allegations of child abuse can lead to the limitation of your time with your children. If your ex has made unfounded accusations against you, it is imperative that you hire an attorney to represent you and protect your rights. An attorney can help you disprove any false allegations of wrongdoing and prevent you from losing parental responsibilities and parenting time of your child.

In recent years, the movement to get divorces out of the courtroom has gained significant momentum. Alternatives like mediation and collaborative divorce have attracted a growing number of supporters, but there are just as many who are unsure of the benefits of these relatively new approaches. Before making a decision either way, it is important to understand the features of all the methods so that you can get a better sense of what might be right for you and your divorce.

Courtrooms Offer Familiarity

The divorce process in an Illinois courtroom has changed little over the years, even as the laws relative to divorce have changed significantly. To initiate divorce proceedings, you or your spouse must file a petition in the relevant county court, and from there, the other may either respond or choose not to contest the divorce. Judgment will be entered if and when a court is able to verify that irreconcilable differences have resulted in an “irretrievable breakdown” of the marriage.

Divorce is not an entirely new phenomenon but it has certainly become more socially acceptable and widespread over the last 40 or so years. As divorce became more commonplace in the 1970s and 80s, a divorcing couples’ children were generally left under the care of their mothers. Divorced dads, by and large, seemed to be less important—with the exception of child support—in the bigger picture of raising the children.

In many ways, this custom was a reflection of the cultural belief that mothers were more nurturing and more inclined to raise children properly compared to fathers. While fathers were given occasional “visits” with their children, it was difficult for men to foster true parent-child relationships with their sons and daughters. In fact, many were more like an uncle figure or family friend than a dad.

New Understandings

Prenuptial agreements, also called “prenups” or premarital arrangements, are legal contracts that establish the property and financial rights of each spouse should a marriage end in divorce. Prenuptial agreements are a somewhat controversial topic for a number of reasons. Some individuals believe that prenups are only necessary for celebrity weddings or for those people who do not plan on being married for the rest of their lives. They think, why plan for a divorce before the marriage has even begun?

In reality, prenuptial agreements are one of the most responsible things you can do to protect your financial interests. Signing one does not mean that you think the marriage is doomed to fail. Consider it a different way; if you own a car, you must have car insurance. This does not mean that you believe you will crash the car or get into an accident. You are simply planning for the worst while hoping for the best. When it comes to prenuptial agreements, the old adage “better safe than sorry” holds true.

Deciding You Want a Prenup