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Kane County divorce attorneysThere are almost countless reasons why a married couple gets divorced. Sometimes, both spouses agree that it is time to end the marriage while other times only one spouse wants the divorce. Traditionally, married couples who wanted a divorce had to give a reason, or “grounds,” for why they wanted to end their marriage. However, major updates to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act (IMDMA) took effect in 2016 which significantly altered the need for proving any grounds for divorce in Illinois.

Divorcing Couples No Longer Need to Assign Fault for the Dissolution of Their Marriage

In the past, Illinois had specific reasons that a married couple could dissolve their marriage. These reasons included the assignment of blame or “fault” to a spouse. Grounds for divorce in Illinois prior to 2016 included:

  • Adultery;
  • Impotence;
  • Bigamy;
  • Abandonment;
  • Drug or alcohol abuse;
  • Physical or mental cruelty;
  • Attempted murder of a spouse by the other;
  • Spouse was convicted of a felony crime; and
  • Spouse infected the other with a sexually transmitted disease.

Since the mid-1980s, however, couples were not forced to choose one of these grounds for divorce in Illinois. A married couple could get divorced even if no major breech in trust or other dramatic wrongdoing occurred, but doing so was often difficult and time-consuming.

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St. Charles divorce lawyersWhile almost all divorces involve a good deal of conflict, some divorcing spouses are more hostile toward each other than others. If you are in the middle of a high-conflict divorce, or are considering divorcing a spouse who you predict will not be cooperative, you probably feel stressed and overwhelmed. Divorcing someone who is unwilling to work with you to solve problems and come to an agreement on divorce issues can be exhausting. However, there are a few things you can do to help the divorce process go as quickly and smoothly as possible.

Do Not Stoop to Their Level

High-conflict divorces can bring out the worst in people. It can make the person you used to love seem like a complete stranger who is intent on making your life miserable. It is very important for people in this situation to be careful not to overreact to their soon-to-be-ex spouse’s antics. He or she may very well do things to try to hurt or embarrass you. For example, some angry spouses will write defaming remarks about the other on social media. As tempting as it is to write something insulting back or otherwise seek revenge, this will only escalate the situation and lead to more conflict. Although it can seem nearly impossible, being “the bigger person” during a high-conflict divorce is often the best way to avoid excessive drama and slowdowns.

Consider Therapy or a Support Group

According to the American Institute of Stress’ Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory, divorce is the second-most stressful life event a person can experience. In fact, divorce is only second to the death of a spouse. Nearly all mental health experts suggest that people getting divorced speak with a counselor, therapist, or other mental health professional during a high-conflict divorce. Speaking with an objective, nonjudgmental professional can help you work through your emotions in a safe environment. Many people also find that attending a support group during and after divorce can help them connect with others going through similar hardships.

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1737 South Naperville Road, Suite 100
Wheaton, IL 60189
630-549-0960
Evening and weekend hours by appointment.

We serve clients throughout Kane County, Illinois including St. Charles, Geneva, Batavia, North Aurora, Elgin, Algonquin, Aurora, Barrington Hills, Bartlett, Big Rock, Burlington, Campton Hills, Carpentersville, East Dundee, Elburn, Hampshire, Huntley, Kaneville, Maple Park, Sleepy Hollow, Wayne, West Dundee as well as throughout DuPage County.

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