If you are a TV or movies buff, you have probably seen many dramatic scenarios played out in a courtroom. In the movie Liar Liar, for example, a divorcing couple with children bitterly argues about who should have custody of the kids. During the divorce proceedings, the wife admits that she wants full custody of the children even though her ex-husband is a “wonderful father.” Although courtroom scenes in movies are usually highly exaggerated and dramatized, the truth is that resolving family law issues in court can bring out the worst in people. Sometimes, simply being in a court environment makes otherwise reasonable spouses argue every detail of their divorce. Fortunately, there is an option for Illinois residents seeking a divorce who wish to resolve their issues without court intervention. Mediation is an alternative to courtroom litigation which helps disagreeing parties amicably negotiate a practical agreement.

Benefits of Mediation Over Litigation

During mediation, a mediator helps disputing parties identify where their disagreements lie and explore various compromises and solutions. The mediator facilitates a calm, rational, productive conversation between the two parties.

Couples who feel a great deal of resentment for each other often have trouble discussing matters of child custody or property division reasonably. With the help of a mediator, the parties can better focus on what is really important and come to an agreement without resorting to fighting. Because the couple ultimately comes up with their own solution to their disagreements, mediation puts much more control in the hands of the disputing couple than litigation does. It is probably for this reason that more people comply with agreements reached through mediation than those decided by litigation. Individuals who participate in mediation are less likely to be brought back to court by a party who was unhappy with the outcome of a court decision. Another major benefit of mediation is that it is often significantly less expensive conflict-resolution method than litigation.

With all that you have endured as your marriage ended, nobody has the right to deny you new opportunities for happiness in the wake of your divorce. You have every right to make the most of your new life, and, in some cases, doing so may include pursuing new romantic interests. While casual dating and possibly a serious relationship after your divorce could have a positive effect on your overall health and self-esteem, there are a few things that you should keep in mind, particularly if you are a parent.

Take All the Time You Need

Dating someone new while your divorce is still pending is not usually the best idea, but once your divorce is finalized, you should feel free to start seeing whomever you choose. Keep in mind, however, that you may not be ready jump back into the dating pool right away. Alternatively, you may be fine with casual dating, but not with getting involved in another serious, long-term relationship. A divorce often leaves emotional and psychological scars that may take significant time to heal.

If you have children, you also need to be aware of how they are adjusting to your new situation. Depending on how old they are and their maturity level, your children may have trouble with a new, serious relationship. Your children may feel like you are attempting to replace your ex-spouse—their other parent. Such feelings can easily transform into resentment and fears that they could be replaced as well.

If you are in the midst of a tumultuous marriage—or a marriage that lacks the warmth and contentment for which you were hoping—you may have given some thought to a trial separation. In fact, you may have already spent several weeks staying with a friend or family member as you considered whether to file for divorce.

These situations occur frequently enough that they are practically formulaic in today’s culture. A married couple grows apart, one spouse moves out, and, in many cases, a divorce eventually ensues. Common practices, however, are not equivalent to statutory requirements. The fact that most people do something a certain way does not mean that you must do the same in a similar situation. Such is the case with a period of separation prior to divorce, at least according to Illinois law.

The Difference Between Legal Separation and Living Separate and Apart

When most people talk about a separation, they are usually referring to a married couple no longer sharing the same household. The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act considers such an arrangement as “living separate and apart,” which is very different from a legal separation. A legal separation, by comparison, is a court-issued judgment that formally declares the couple to be separated. Legal separations are sometimes used by couples who do not wish to divorce for personal or religious reasons or those who are not quite ready to divorce. Following a legal separation, orders may be entered for spousal and child support, parental responsibilities, and, if the couple chooses, the division of property.

If you are a divorced, separated, or unmarried parent, holidays can present a number of rather unique challenges. In most families, holidays are a time for getting together with loved ones, many of whom have not seen one another in some time—possibly since the same holiday last year. Of course, parents want their children to be part of the festivities and to visit with family members who may have traveled a great distance for the occasion. If you are subject to a court-approved parenting plan, however, it may take some negotiation to figure out where your children will be spending the holidays.

Do Not Wait

While it may not seem possible, Thanksgiving is just a few short days away. This means that you and your child’s other parent should not delay in making plans regarding your holiday parenting time. The first thing you should do, however, is to check your parenting plan document, as many such plans contain a holiday parenting time schedule created years in advance to reduce confusion. If your plan does not include a holiday schedule or provides that you will negotiate a reasonable agreement each year, it is time to start preparing for winter holidays.

Prioritize and Compromise

While many families will get together quite often, including on commonly-celebrated holidays, certain holidays are more “important”—for lack of a better word—than others to some families. For example, your family may prioritize your Christmas or Hanukkah traditions while the other parent’s family traditionally places a greater emphasis on Thanksgiving or New Year’s Day. If your respective priorities allow you, develop a plan that provides your child to be a part of each of the important celebrations.

Divorce is almost always difficult. Even making the initial decision to leave your spouse can be extremely challenging. What follows is a process of untangling lives, separating assets, and allocating property fairly to each party. For those with substantial assets, however, divorce can be even more complicated. High-asset divorce is tricky for a number of reasons, and it is important that those divorcing with high-value assets choose an attorney with the knowledge and skill to properly assist their clients. Why is high-asset divorce more complicated? Most divorcing couples want to ensure they receive a fair settlement and that their assets are protected. The more assets a couple has, however, the more difficult separating them becomes.

Finding Assets

When a couple with significant wealth decides to separate, they must disclose all of their assets so that the marital estate can be properly divided. This can be difficult, as many high-net worth individuals have their money stored in a variety of different places. Retirement accounts, valuable items, off-shore investments, real estate, and all other assets must be located, disclosed, valued and equitably divided during divorce.

In some high-asset divorce cases, a spouse may attempt to hide assets from the other. This is not hard to do when working with multiple accounts and assets stored in a variety of locations and investment vehicles. Some parties require the assistance of a forensic accountant to meticulously comb financial records, investments, and bank accounts to ensure every asset is appropriately considered.