While almost all divorces involve a good deal of conflict, some divorcing spouses are more hostile toward each other than others. If you are in the middle of a high-conflict divorce, or are considering divorcing a spouse who you predict will not be cooperative, you probably feel stressed and overwhelmed. Divorcing someone who is unwilling to work with you to solve problems and come to an agreement on divorce issues can be exhausting. However, there are a few things you can do to help the divorce process go as quickly and smoothly as possible.
Do Not Stoop to Their Level
High-conflict divorces can bring out the worst in people. It can make the person you used to love seem like a complete stranger who is intent on making your life miserable. It is very important for people in this situation to be careful not to overreact to their soon-to-be-ex spouse’s antics. He or she may very well do things to try to hurt or embarrass you. For example, some angry spouses will write defaming remarks about the other on social media. As tempting as it is to write something insulting back or otherwise seek revenge, this will only escalate the situation and lead to more conflict. Although it can seem nearly impossible, being “the bigger person” during a high-conflict divorce is often the best way to avoid excessive drama and slowdowns.
Consider Therapy or a Support Group
According to the American Institute of Stress’ Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory, divorce is the second-most stressful life event a person can experience. In fact, divorce is only second to the death of a spouse. Nearly all mental health experts suggest that people getting divorced speak with a counselor, therapist, or other mental health professional during a high-conflict divorce. Speaking with an objective, nonjudgmental professional can help you work through your emotions in a safe environment. Many people also find that attending a support group during and after divorce can help them connect with others going through similar hardships.
Keep the Children Out of It
Often, children of hostile divorcing parents can end up in the crossfire. It is critical that parents going through a divorce do everything they can to keep their children out of the adults’ conflict. A parent should never withhold children from the other spouse as a punishment to him or her. Sharing details about the divorce with children can make them feel like they have to choose sides. Parents who purposely try to manipulate their children’s perception of the other parent or prevent communication between the parent and children may be guilty of “parental alienation.” Allegations of parental alienation will almost certainly affect the outcome of custody and parental responsibility decisions.
Contact a St. Charles, Illinois Family Law Attorney Today
If you are considering divorce, call an experienced Kane County family law attorney. Call MKFM Law at 630-665-7300 today.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-intelligent-divorce/201110/the-malignant-divorce
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/therapy-soup/2018/01/narcissists-divorce-parental-alienation-the-perfect-storm/
