Sharing parental responsibilities and parenting time of children with an ex-wife or ex-husband can be difficult, but it is worth the effort. Multiple studies show that children thrive when they have love and attention from both of their parents. If you are recently divorced or soon will be, you may have concerns about how you and your child’s other parent will manage sharing parental responsibilities. While there is no right or wrong way to share parenting responsibilities, there are certain things you can do to help minimize disagreements and misunderstandings between you and your ex.
Consistent Rules for Both Households Can Minimize Confusion and Tension
Understandably, you and the other parent probably do not share the exact same philosophies and methods regarding parenting. One parent may be much stricter when it comes to the household rules while the other parent allows children to do whatever they want more often than not. Perhaps you want your children to be responsible for certain chores like cleaning up the dinner dishes or folding laundry while your ex does not expect the children to help with any household responsibilities.
Having two separate sets of rules to follow can be confusing for children and can lead to unnecessary friction between the adults. Many experts suggest that divorced parents try to keep consistent rules between the two homes. While this is not always possible, sitting down with your ex and deciding on the house rules, bedtime, and homework procedure your child should follow can make co-parenting go much more smoothly. Even more importantly, this helps the child feel more secure and less confused about what is expected of him or her at each house.
Make a Pledge Not to Talk Badly About Each Other in Front of the Kids
There may be a good deal of tension between you and your child’s other parent. The marriage may have ended because of an affair or another dramatic turn of events, or you may simply have feelings of sadness or resentment about the end of the relationship. While these feelings are completely normal and understandable, parents do have a responsibility to keep adult problems from interfering with the happiness and development of their children.
Making an agreement with your ex to not make complaints or negative comments about the other in front of the children can help you both remember to keep adult problems between the adults. When children are forced to hear you complain about their other parent, it can make them feel like they have to choose sides. Even if your ex chooses not to follow through with the agreement against negative talk, you can still choose to be the bigger person and avoid talking badly about him or her.
Contact a Kane County Family Law Attorney
For help with allocation of parental responsibilities and parenting time, child support, divorce, or other family law issues, reach out to the trusted professionals at Mirabella, Kincaid, Frederick & Mirabella, LLC. Schedule an appointment with an experienced St. Charles divorce lawyer by calling 630-630-7300 today.
Sources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/two-takes-depression/201203/the-dos-and-donts-co-parenting-well
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/parenting-family/co-parenting-tips-for-divorced-parents.htm
